Counselling for masturbation & pornography addiction

Most adults have seen or used porn at some time in their life as an aid to masturbation or to stimulate their sex lives. Pornography use only becomes an addiction when the desire to watch pornography becomes so overpowering that it starts to impact on other areas of our lives. As with any addiction, when we become preoccupied with something like pornography, we tend to overlook and neglect other important aspects of our life. These may include contact with our family, romantic relationships, workplace relations and our general performance at work.

Pornography and masturbation addicts will often find that they spend less and less time with their partners, children or friends because they are compelled to spend more and more time watching porn. The addiction will also commonly start to affect their sleep, and their working lives (This article is electronically protected – Copyright © Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney PTY LTD)

The trick is in determining whether you are suffering from a compulsive and uncontrollable urge to perform certain behaviours. The hallmarks of an addiction include:

• Preoccupation with the target of the addiction – masturbation, porn, etc.
• Needing more and more of the behaviour to feel satisfied
• Feeling anxiety when you are not engaged in the behaviour
• Feeling anxiety once you have finished with engaging in the behaviour
• Unsuccessful attempts to cut down or stop the behaviour
• Continuing to engage in the behaviour despite negative consequences

These are just a few of the markers for addictive behaviours. Many people with an addiction problem experience high levels of anxiety when they are not engaged in the addictive behaviour. Yet these same people find that the anxiety returns shortly after the last ‘hit’ has been delivered. As a result, those who are addicted to pornography and/or masturbation find themselves in a never ending cycle of wanting to watch porn, engaging in the behaviour, and then experiencing the urge to do it again and again. For addicts, the cycle of compulsive behaviour never stops.

While looking at porn occasionally can be a healthy thing to do and may enhance an existing relationship, compulsive use can lead to isolation and the inability to maintain healthy relationships. Therefore, it is important to seek help when we feel that our compulsive behaviours are preventing us from leading fulfilling, meaningful and balanced lives.

Counselling and therapy for porn addictions involves looking at how we can change destructive behavioural patterns in our lives and replace them with constructive ones. The method used by counsellor and psychologists to treat pornography addictiont will depend on a number of factors including their own preferred practice methods and the client’s needs and personal history.

Short term counselling services for porn and masturbation is usually focused on behaviours and identifying the triggers that drive you to watch porn and/or masturbate. While talking about these issues may be embarrassing, professional counsellors, psychologist and/or therapists are very compassionate and understanding. (This article is electronically protected – Copyright © Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney PTY LTD)

Long term treatment often includes working with a trained therapist, psychologist or counsellor who helps you investigate the underlying causes for your addictive behaviour. Unlike talking to friends or family, a professional counsellor will help you understand why you feel the need to engage in these behaviours. With long term therapy, you may have the opportunity to talk through thoughts and feelings that you have not examined before regarding sex, your current relationships and events in your life that may affect your current choices in life. (This article is electronically protected – Copyright © Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney PTY LTD)

Adam first discovered masturbation when he was in his preteen years and felt good whilst doing it. Whenever he was alone he found himself gratifying himself sexually. There were a few times when his mother accidentally caught him and that was embarrassing, but soon enough he learned when and where he could masturbate without getting caught.

As Adam grew into a young man, he found himself needing to masturbate more and more. He was worried that he had become addicted to his own body, but reasoned that if he wasn’t hurting anyone then his behaviour was harmless. At every chance he had to stroke himself, he did. Unfortunately, this also meant that he sometimes would do it in the car or in places that weren’t quite appropriate and once he was caught and arrested for public indecency. After being arrested a second time, the court ordered that he receive counselling for his problem. (This article is electronically protected – Copyright © Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney PTY LTD)

Adam was surprised when he met his counsellor. He was expecting someone who would be moralistic and exhibit outrage at his behaviour. Instead, George was understanding, compassionate and willing to listen. George explained that their sessions would be confidential and that Adam could talk about whatever he needed to in order to help him understand his behaviour and how to control it. George didn’t interrupt Adam very often, except to ask for more information. After a few weeks of meeting, Adam began to realise that his masturbation addiction was shutting him off from relationships that might be satisfying and rewarding. Until that point he hadn’t considered his addiction as adversely affecting his life.

Within a few months, not only had Adam met his court requirements for counselling, but he was feeling better about his ability to control his urges. Although he still struggled from time to time, he continued to enlist George’s help by making regular visits and appointments to touch base on his progress and journey toward recovery. (This article is electronically protected – Copyright © Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney PTY LTD)

If you or someone you love is struggling with chronic masturbation or porn addiction, you may benefit from consulting with a professional counsellor, psychologist or therapist in the Sydney metropolitan area. If you would like more information or to schedule an appointment, please contact Associated Counselors & Psychologists Sydney.