Anger Management Skills

If you have trouble managing the way you express your anger these tips can help you regain control.


If you have a tendency to act against your best interests when you get angry, remove yourself from the situation as soon as you feel your anger rise. Tell the person you are angry with that you are taking some time out.


Next, try and calm yourself by breathing slowly. Reassure yourself that you will be better able to address the situation once you are relaxed. In your mind or out loud, say the word RELAX to yourself on each out-breath for 20 deep and slow breaths.


Next, try and go back in your mind ad notice what has brought on your angry feeling. If you are not sure, try and remember when you still felt calm or good, and try to remember when things became unpleasant for you. Remember that an anger outburst often begins life as a small irritation.

Learn about the smaller signals that can build to anger, like irritation or frustration and start to notice these. Check your environment and your body for irritants like chronic pain or a generally uncomfortable environment, or persons or behaviours that irritate you.


Once you have notice what causes your anger, especially if it has been caused by another person, see if you can express it, at first to yourself, in terms of what you need. Please don’t blame the other person, but respect their position and put it in a way which is likely to get their understanding and cooperation.

Try and use “I” statements. For example: When I come home I need a few minutes to unwind. I find I get angry when I have to respond to demands right away. I know you have been busy too and we have a lot to get through of an evening, but would you mind giving me a second before asking to help out with the chores? I would appreciate it.”

Remember not to engage the other person until you feel you can do so in a way that doesn’t threaten them or disrespect their position. This could take up to an hour after you first got angry.

If you can’t find such a position, you may still wish to make a statement about your anger. However, when you are at the height of your angry feelings it is unlikely that the issue will be resolved, especially if the other person isn’t able to hear your perspective and receives them as criticisms. This will depend on the nature of your relationship and each persons personality.

To summarise, try and think of what has made you angry. Try and phrase this in terms that account for the other persons perspective of the situation also. Try and put it in a way that you think will maximise the other persons chances of hearing you without feeling attacked themselves. Then calmly state your case. If the other person escalates, don’t follow.


Keep a log of your anger throughout the day. Note down any triggers. Get to know your anger and its sources. Learn relaxation skills, assertive communication skills, manage your environment and body and try to do some exercise.

Finally, seek professional help especially if you feel your anger is longstanding and a part of your personality or make up.Someetimes a longer term psychotherapy based approach can be a more appropriate treatment to deal with underlying triggers for anger which the person may not be able to be aware or if the person experiences states of mind and feelings which simply overwhelm their capacities to soothe themselves.

In such cases, a trained therapist such as a professional counsellor or psychologist can help establish a relationship with the person where triggers, perhaps historic ones are understood and where the capacity to regulate emotions is vastly improved.

Why Am I So Angry ?

For some people anger is so engrained in their personality that speaking to a counsellor or psychologist helps them to uncover the motivations behind their anger. Remember that most people become angered when they feel that an injustice is occurring or when they feel that too much of a burden is being placed on them. If you are being treated unfairly or if you have more on than you can cope cope with, effective communication and anger management skills training can be most useful.

At other times, the injustices you are feeling may be more perceived than real . In other words, you may be experiencing anger although you can’t quite place the source of it, or you feel yourself getting more angry than you think you ought to be. Perhaps at times your anger just doesn’t make any sense to you. In such cases, it may be that your frustrations are based on past experiences and that these experiences have lead you to cloud the way you now see your situation and the intentions of the people around you.

Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney are a leading provider of Anger Management Counselling Services .

Call us today to regain control over your anger.

Want Us to Call You?

online counselling

Online Counselling

Skype Internet Counselling
Australia - Now Available
Tel: (02) 8205 0566

Sydney CBD

Sydney CBD Map

185 Elizabeth St
Sydney NSW 2000
Tel: (02) 8205 0566

Bondi Junction

Bondi Junction Map

802/9-13 Bronte Rd
Bondi Junction NSW 2022
Tel: (02) 8094 1792

Double Bay

Double Bay Map

Unit 6, 442 New South Head Road
Double Bay NSW 2028
Tel: (02) 8820 0717

Surry Hills

Surry Hills Map

302/88 Foveaux St
Surry Hills NSW 2010
Tel: (02) 8094 1790

Potts Point

Potts Point Map

Potts Point NSW 2011
Tel: (02) 8820 0717


Parramatta Map

38b/70-74 Phillip St
Parramatta NSW 2150
Tel: (02) 8897 0803


Bankstown Map

Suite 4, 21 Kitchener Rd
Bankstown NSW 2200
Tel: (02) 8004 9961


Blacktown Map

18 Callabona Ave
Woodcroft NSW 2767
Tel: (02) 8820 0717


Campbelltown Map

3/167 Queen St
Campbelltown NSW 2560
Tel: (02) 8820 0717

Glenmore Park

Glenmore Park Map

2 Sir John Jamison Circuit
NSW 2745
Tel: (02) 8004 9960


Glebe Map

St Johns Rd
Glebe NSW 2038
Tel: (02) 8094 1796

Dulwich Hill

Dulwich Hill Map

Challis Avenue
Dulwich Hill NSW 2203
Tel: 02 8004 9963


Enfield-Burwood Map

Portland St
NSW 2136
Tel: (02) 8004 9963


Enmore Map

216 Enmore Rd
Enmore NSW 2042
Tel: (02) 8897 0809


Leichhardt Map

Parramatta Rd
Leichhardt 2040
Tel: (02)8006 5225


Lilyfield Map

1/358 Catherine St
Lilyfield NSW 2040
Tel: (02) 8007 7337

North Strathfield

North Strathfield Map

Level 1, 9 George Street
NSW 2137
Tel: (02) 8004 9964

Castle Hill

Castle Hill Map

46 Old Castle Hill Rd
Castle Hill NSW 2154
Tel: (02) 8090 0817

Baulkham Hills

Baulkham Hills Map

21/35 Old Northern Road
Baulkham Hills NSW 2153
Tel: (02) 8820 0717

Bella Vista

Bella Vista Map

211/5 Celebration Dr
Bella Vista NSW 2153
Tel: (02) 8820 0717

Pennant Hills

Pennant Hills Map

10 Fisher Ave
Pennant Hills NSW 2120
Tel: (02) 8090 1440


Hornsby Map

7/49 Palmerston Road
NSW 2077

North Shore Sydney

North Shore Sydney Map

343 Sailors Bay Rd
Northbridge NSW 2063
Tel: (02) 8094 1793

North Sydney

North Sydney Map

2/83 Walker St
NSW 2060
Tel: (02) 8004 9962


Chatswood Map

54/47 Neridah St
Chatswood 2067
Tel: (02) 8005 4151


Cremorne Map

4/350 Military Rd
Cremorne NSW 2090
Tel: (02) 8897 0810

Lane Cove

Lane Cove Map

221 Longueville Rd
Lane Cove NSW 266
Tel: (02) 8002 1201

Macquarie Park Ryde

Macquarie Park Ryde Map

Suite 119
32 Delhi Road NSW 2113
Tel: (02) 8004 9966


Mosman Map

Suite 4, 701 Military Rd
Mosman NSW 2088
Tel: (02) 8094 1965

North Sydney

North Sydney Map

Hazelbank Rd
Wollstonecraft 2065
Tel: (02) 8090 1019


Killara Map

Koola Ave
Killara NSW 2071
Tel: (02) 8897 0811


Wahroonga Map

6/2 Redleaf Ave
Wahroonga NSW 2076
Tel: (02) 8090 1440

Dee Why

Dee Why Map

5 Selby Ave
Dee Why NSW 2099
Tel: (02) 8404 0622


Miranda Map

Level 1, 29 Kiora Road
Miranda NSW 2228
Tel: (02) 8004 9960


Caringbah Map

4/26 President Ave
Caringbah NSW 2229
Tel: (02) 8094 1799


Hurstville Map

262a, Bldg.2, 7-11 The Avenue
Hurstville NSW 2220
Tel: (02) 8897 0807


Kogarah Map

13a/13 Montgomery St
Kogarah NSW 2217
Tel: (02) 8897 0806

Central Coast - Gosford

Central Coast - Gosford Map

3 Hills Street
Gosford NSW 2250
Tel: 8094 1785

Central Coast - Erina

Central Coast - Erina Map

17C/8 Karalta Rd
Erina NSW 2250
Tel: (02) 8004 5170


Wollongong Map

Harkness Ave
Keiraville NSW 2500
Tel: (02) 4210 6170